Film Follies, Worth it?

Worth It?-John Wick

Let me start by telling you that John Wick is a testosterone-infused masturbatory male fantasy on cocaine and that its plot makes very little sense. Let me also tell you that it is an hour and forty minutes of unadulterated fun and I will not apologize for enjoying it. I know, I know I’m getting ahead of myself. This is Worth It? after all. I’m supposed to hem and haw and give you things that I liked and didn’t like before stunning you with a recommendation to see or not see a film. But that would require me to craft a narrative; to do silly things like construct salient arguments or discuss its philosophical undertones. And you know what? John Wick doesn’t have time for any of that bullshit and neither do I.
Instead, I’m just going to list cool shit that is in this movie until I wear down your resistance. Guns. Explosions. Muscle Cars. Russian Mobsters. Russian Mobsters getting killed by American Badasses. Adrianne Palicki. Lance Reddick. The dude from the Newsroom. No, not Jeff Daniels. No, not the Indian dude. The dude who was fictionally dating Olivia Munn. Yeah, that dude. John Leguizamo. Car Chases. ’69 Mustangs. Puppies. Willem Dafoe. Keanu Reeves. People who hurt puppies getting shot. People who hurt Willem Dafoe getting shot. People who hurt Keanu getting shot. Theon Greyjoy being a dick. Theon Greyjoy getting shot in the face for being a dick. The obnoxious dick from the Allstate commercials getting shot. No, not President Palmer. No, not the guy who actually dated Olivia Munn. The other guy with the stupid mayhem shtick. Yeah, that guy. He gets shot. Secret underground clubs. Hot redheaded bartenders. Bridget Moynahan. Weird gold coins that are never fully explained but apparently let you get rid of dead bodies hassle free. A Hotel for Assassins. Russian bathhouses. Gunfights in Russian Bathhouses. People getting stabbed in the neck in Russian bathhouses. Kung-Fu. Gun-Fu. Ian McShane. Sad Keanu. Ian fucking McShane.
If that collection of nouns, verbs, and adjectives doesn’t make you want to give John Wick two hours of your life you’re probably dead inside.
John Wick. Worth It.

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