Literary Liaisons, Wily Wordplay

Wily Wordplay – Insults

Everybody loves a good insult. Here are some of my favorites.

1.“Thou art a base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy worsted-stocking knave; a lily-liver’d, action-taking, whoreson, glass-gazing, superserviceable, finical rogue; one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a bawd in way of good service, and art nothing but the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pandar, and the son and heir of a mungril bitch.”
King Lear, William Shakespeare

2.“The simplicity of your character makes you exquisitely incomprehensible to me.”
The Importance of Being Earnest, Oscar Wilde

3.“If you will forgive me for being personal, I do not like your face.”
Murder on the Orient Express, Agatha Christie

4.“May your genitals sprout wings and fly away.”
Small Gods, Terry Pratchett

5.”You guys are so unhip it’s a wonder your bums don’t fall off.”
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams
6.”‘You,’ Madeline said, her voice hollow and wheezing, ‘are like a bad case of herpes, wizard. You’re inconvenient, embarassing, no real threat, and you simply will not go away.”
Turncoat, Jim Butcher

7.”I desire that we be better strangers.”
As You Like It, William Shakespeare

8.“This liberal doxy must be impaled upon the member of a particularly large stallion!”
A Confederacy of Dunces, John Kennedy Toole

9.“If your brains were dynamite there wouldn’t be enough to blow your hat off.”
Timequake, Kurt Vonnegut

10.“He would make a lovely corpse”
The Life and Adventures of Martin Chuzzlewit, Charles Dickens

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